I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
