my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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