you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
foreskin is a definite game changer
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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