i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
then he tried to convert me to islam
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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