Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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