Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
