I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
