Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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