Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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