Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
