I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
