i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
