Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
