Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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