Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I would ride that face into the sunset
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
