had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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