This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
