He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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