i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
