He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize