lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
