if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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