no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
