I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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