barbara walters just said penis...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Damn victory sex feels great
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
