I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
