Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
