Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
