In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
