My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
