i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
