he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
