They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
