I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
