I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
