i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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