Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
It's official drugs can't kill me
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
