KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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