At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize