For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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