duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
