is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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