Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
