Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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