She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
