I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
