we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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