she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
