So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
