just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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