Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
