You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
