if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Randomize
