we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
