yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Say something about gay babies.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I wish you could order shots online.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
