Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
