If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
