What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize