Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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