True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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