Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
