im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
