It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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