My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
